Personal Action Plan

In the last few years I have gone through some major life altering experiences. Everything from losses that were important; including a loved one, a long friendship, gainful employment and a serious illness which affected one of my sources of income, loss of hopes and dreams. I became depressed about all the traumatic events which were happening in my life. The most painful experience, such as the loss of a loved one; due to divorce, a medical illness, or losing everything as a result of putting all my trust into a relationship that ended. All these life altering events took away my sense of control and caused great emotional upheaval. These traumatic events caused more distress for me than I could ever imagine. The end of my marriage has been the most painful experience in my life. Ending a twenty year union and losing my best friend was shocking because of the fear of not knowing what to do or feeling a sense of everything being hopeless had the biggest impact on my life, Even being diagnosed with breast cancer did not have this impact on my life. I started to feel and think as though every event of my life was predetermined and my entire course was laid out for me and no matter what I did or how I tried to avoid it, my life would unfold in some predetermined way. I felt as though there was such a thing as fate or destiny, but in the back of my mind I wondered, what about free will? I thought I was suppose to have the freedom to choose my actions but I felt as though free will was negated since existed. In order for me to find resolve in my pity and my life which had become depressing and stressful, I had to learn everything I could about the changes that were negatively impacting my life. The more I knew about them, the better I thought I would be able to deal with them. I started asking questions such as: What’s the worse thing that can happen? What do I stand to lose because of this change? How is this change affecting me now? Who or what is in control of the effects of this change now? Is there a way to minimize the negative effects of the change? What result do I want to avoid? What result do I want to create? The first thing I decided to do with my life was to move away and get a fresh start. At this point I was not really concerned with financial resources because I was always taught to save for a rainy day. As far as the pain of my marriage I found that women who lose their husbands may be more willing to seek out emotional support. I found this support in a relationship I cultivated and it developed into a friendship which replaced all the voids I felt in my personal life. I always wanted to pursue my educational goals and the new relationship helped pave the way for me to go back to school to finish some educational goals I wanted for myself. It also made a way to get my family back together under one roof. Through everything I now realize traumatic life events and major changes are an inevitable part of life. From the loss of a loved one, personal illness, financial set-back, to starting a new job or moving into a new home, changes throughout life are constant. I now know I moved beyond these crisis and disappointment and made my life better. The changes that seem to cause me the most problems are the changes that I feel I had no control over. Since dealing with traumas and changes I understand that I had no control over such external events. I realize that I cannot change the traumas or crises; they can only change themselves. Creative personal growth has been an ongoing process for me to commit to as a way of developing personally. It is about my psychological and spiritual growth and development. A key component of creative self-growth is to take full responsibility for my life. It is about bringing forth my highest potential as a human being. The benefits of undertaking any form of personal growth were many, including healing family wounds, gaining more confidence and self-esteem, learning to trust myself, forgiving others, developing compassion and kindness toward myself and others, increasing inner peace and a sense of well-being, developing the ability to cope better and meet challenges with more ease, feeling more comfortable in expressing myself, having more skills in creating loving relationships and looking at life's challenges as opportunities to grow and learn for myself. One of my biggest strengths is my communication skills. I work very well with all kinds of people, and understand that everyone has different perspectives about projects and work tasks — so when I work with others I realize that everyone comes to the table with different priorities and objectives. I keep this in mind when I communicate tasks that need to be accomplished with positive reinforcement and awareness of what others are working on. Another strength is my flexibility to handle change. I was able to turn around a negative working environment and develop a very supportive team. I am a hard worker, very punctual, determined, able to prioritize, I believe in myself and I am self confident. One of my greatest strengths I've acquired during my education is good analytical and planning skills. This will benefit me and challenge to set goals and try to achieve them, at the same time, I'm driven by the thoughts of success; I have full commitment to my work. I am highly energetic; I love to learn new things, I process good interpersonal skills; along with being well organized and like to be neat with all my work; I am a good helper towards those who need it. I am a team player and work well with others, I am a quick learner and I possess great problem-solving skills. I'm sometimes told that I am a bit too slow, that's only because I want to do the best job I can. I guess you could say I'm a bit anal when it comes to perfection. I am very headstrong. I really like to be challenged in my job, and I just want to learn as much as I can in my position. At the end of the day I need to be able to look back on my day and feel good about the job that I've done. I guess you could call it sense of self worth. That's why I always put my all into everything I do. I used to have trouble with procrastinating, now I have learned to write down a list of things that I need to do, and I keep a calendar to keep track of deadlines, I have found that this not only helps me to finish things on time, but it has also helped me to be more organized. A weakness of mine would be the fact that I get nervous when speaking in front of groups. I haven't had a lot of experience with this over the past several years. I'm little egoistic when it comes to winning things and get a little ruthless too. I lose patience sometimes when I am not in a position to complete the assigned job in time. I have to work on having more patience and giving myself a break because I always want everything done at once. I am too focused on my work and I need to find more time to relax and I need to develop some after hour’s hobbies. I am a workaholic person and love to dedicate myself to the work I am doing. But at the same time I forget to keep a balance between other things which I am trying to improve on. The big irony is that my future is in much better shape even though I focus most of my attention on the present. By making my present reality as enjoyable as possible, my motivation has just been soaring. I’m working from a state of joy instead of a feeling of obligation. I’ve actually created the very situation I was hoping money would someday grant me. I imagined what I would do if I was already rich beyond my wildest dreams. I saw myself spending lots of time working on personal growth, doing all sorts of interesting experiments, and then sharing what I learned with others. I thought to myself, â€Å"That would be a truly incredible life for me. † Today I’m so happy it’s almost ridiculous. I couldn’t even have imagined being this happy on a daily basis two years ago. And I certainly wasn’t depressed back then, I was at least content. But now my emotional state is highly positive, not just neutral. I stopped seeking happiness in the future and instead looked for ways to create it right now. In order to reach my goals I know I need to start small. I cannot afford to take on more than I can handle too soon, especially since some of my goals are outside of my knowledge and current abilities. I do not want to get discouraged when I realize that my goal of running three miles a day has fizzled out after two weeks because I cannot seem to get past one mile a day. I feel when you start small and set mini-goals for yourself; you are much more likely to succeed also by setting goals that are attainable by assessing the reality of the situation and gathering information. It is great to aim big, but not so big that you can't reach your goal. I was taught by my maternal grandmother to write down your goals, because until you do, it is still a dream. I want to be able to see my goals every day. My goal is long-term and I feel to reach it, I need to write down concrete steps on how I will achieve it which can provide gratification so I will feel as though I am making progress. My affirmations and positive words along with statements I use repetitively help to build my self-confidence and change my attitude and behaviors. I print affirmations on note cards and type them into a screen saver on my computer. Since I have a strong sense of self-motivation, I believe the skill can be acquired by using positive affirmations. A social network can be a powerful motivational force as well as a safety net if I encounter issues along my journey. I have reached out to friends and family to encourage me and to provide support until I achieve my goals.